Archive for November, 2008


Thoughts are just swirling through my head today. It was one of my random days, where my thoughts have no connection to each other. There is a feeling of detachedness. I also looked through some of my old writings. Haha. They were okay, not that great though. I need to write to get all of this crap in my head out, and maybe to rant? But I have some friends that I can do that too. Lol. Poor them.

Sometimes my feelings need to be sorted. If I think about someone all the time, I know I like them. The thing is, it’s so tedious to like someone. You become a slave to your emotions and one cannot think clearly. I tend to not think about people in general too much, for fear that I might end up liking someone.

I think I’m a bit stressed lately, to all honesty. I’m not sure how much I can take. I feel like writing depressing poems again… *sigh*

Read Full Post »

Phantom Candle

Phantom Candle

Into the black night,

lighted up only by God’s rage.

A sound rumbles in the windswept heavens,

and the sky cries the tears of my heart.

I walked out to the edge of the lake,

the wind cutting my skin like a knife.

I feel it not, for the pain of my soul numbs all feeling.

I loved you.

I hated you.

And then you were gone.

No one to hold my hand in this treacherous world,

no one to wipe away my tears.

You could have saved me from myself

But now you are gone and I fall,


into the deepest chasm of darkness,

of the never ending abyss.

I try to claw my way out, try to pull myself out, but to no prevail.

I cannot do this alone.

Oh if only! If only,

you were here to guide me!

Another flash in the tempestuous sky,

and I see your phantom face.

It is you?

Is it really you?

Your touch on my skin,

makes the icy water around me warm.

Your gaze is tender and accepting.

Are you to release me from this pain?

You reach out a hand and I grasp it,

feeling its firmness in my hand.

You shall be my light in the darkness,

my candle in the eve of winter,

and you will guide me through this raging storm that threatens to consume our world…

This poem is about a person who loved. Their lover dies and they end up alone in this world. They decide to suicide, to find this person that they love in the other world. It describes the lake on a stormy night, and their soul is crying out for help. They hallucinate, and see the person’s face. They reach out and take the hand. At that moment, they actually die. It’s more like, they wanted to see the person so much, to the point that they hallucinate and follow that shadow without realizing where they are going. When they make that conscious decision to accept the person’s hand, they die.

This poem is full of pain, because of the passing of a beloved. Yet at the same time, they are relieved to find the one they love, even if it’s after death. They will go to any means to find this person. Thus, this poem is also about love. Love felt so strongly that they’ll be willing to even to through death for this person.

Read Full Post »

Kurou no Mizu

Into the night,

darkness embraces me,

welcomes me.

I smile,

no more regrets,

no more bonds to this world.

The ocean crashes against the cliffs,

the wind stirs, kissing my face.

There will be no taint on my soul or body,

no wounds.

No pain, no fear, and no more confusion.

As I walk into the water,

it embraces me, consumes me.

I let out a breath, finally able to breathe.

I let myself slip

and the waters close over me,

cleansing me of all sin.

I drift in the silence of the ocean,

the cradle of the womb of my soul.

I float in the eternal darkness,

nothing to ever hurt me again.

I sigh contently, finally at peace.

The walls of black calming my hurting heart,

and I see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing.

The blackness encloses over me and I welcome the sensation, smiling

I close my eyes and drift…

This poem actually started out initially as a paragraph, in a story form. That’s because a lot of time I envision things in my mind, and I try to capture that image with the words I want. Later, I decided to try to write it into poem form and it turned out pretty well.  In this poem I try to explain how the element water is felt to me.

Death by water is gentle in this poem, and it’s not a poem of depression. Instead, it’s a poem of joy, that this person can die like that. Yes, the subject itself is morbid, but can you see and feel the joy that this person has? This poem is also me envisioning why people would want to suicide. Maybe they really felt that was a relief, and that was happiness. I suppose, this is the side of the suicidal tendencies that people may never get to tell, so I tried to tell it for them. Was I successful, I wonder?

The title itself is Japanese. I think it would translate literally as “Black Water”. In Chinese, 黑色的水. The blackness encompasses and covers, a relief, just like death. Maybe these people die because they want to be forever safely covered, to never be alone. Who knows?

Edit: I was listening to Crawling by Linkin Park when I was writing this. It sort of inspired me. There were some references to water in that song. 😀

Read Full Post »

Journalism I

Word Count: 691

Draft #2

The book cover of The Client by John Grisham.

The book cover of The Client by John Grisham.

The Client Book Review

He was old enough to know that playing by the rules could get a person killed. Eleven-year-old Mark Sway knew not to tell anyone his secret or trust anyone but himself. Now in a battle between life and death he eludes the law and mobsters, who are after the secret that only Mark knows.

In John Grisham’s The Client, Mark Sway and his younger brother sneak out to smoke a forbidden cigarette in the woods when, by chance, they encounter a suicidal lawyer, Jerome “Romey” Clifford, from New Orleans.

Mark tries to stop Clifford but instead is forced to crawl into the car, where Clifford declares that Mark is to die with him. But before Clifford dies, he reveals many dangerous facts, such as, ”My client killed a man and hid the body, and now my client wants to kill me. […] I, the trusted lawyer, can now tell you, literally seconds before we float away, where the body is. The body, Mark, the most notorious, undiscovered corpse of our time. Unbelievable. I can finally tell!”(p.20). Clifford admits to the guilt of his mobster client, Barry “The Blade” Muldanno, in the killing of U. S. Senator, Boyd Boyette, and the location of the dead body.

Now in order for the FBI to win the case against Muldanno, they must find the body before anything happens to it. The FBI suspects that Mark is withholding information, and consequently takes him to court in order to find out where the body is. Mark, knowing that things could get down-right ugly, hires a lawyer named Reggie Love to help defend him. The pair is determined to elude the FBI and Muldanno, and prove Mark’s innocence before he gets killed.

Mark Sway is a clever boy who grew up with an abusive father and the responsibility of taking care of his mother and little brother. This helped him develop a strength of character at a young age. He is also a smart mouth that tends to get into trouble. Ever since Mark was little, he knew to not rely on the law, as they never helped him or his mother against his father’s abusive nature.” My father had settled down quite a bit, and was suddenly real friendly with the cops. His nose was the size of a football, and the cops were more concerned with his face than with me and Mom.”(p.209) But now, he realizes that he is not alone in the world, and that he can’t do everything on his own.

Sway also understands that he is treading deep water, and thus hires Reggie Love, a 50 something-year-old lawyer, with no ambition in becoming wealthy, to help him. She genuinely wants to help Mark and his family. When their trailer was burned down, Reggie takes on Mark’s case for free because she knows the family can’t afford it after losing everything they owned. She also knows that wealth isn’t everything after going through some haunting and personal experiences. Grisham, a lawyer turned author, uses his legal knowledge to get us emotionally involved with Reggie as a lawyer and her plight in defending her client.

Grisham easily makes use of his experiences to give us a realistic view into the legal world with heart-pounding confrontations in The Client. Yet at the same time, those who are serious legal thriller fans will be disappointed. There is no real proof, real weapon, or any solid information, except for unreliable secondhand sources, that could actually present a good case. This book is for people who wish to read a good novel and yet at the same time, not care too much about the overall silliness of the characters and the accusations that have no basis in proof. The refreshing originality of Mark’s personality does not befit a typical hero, but it also helps us see society from another perspective, a more simple way of looking at the world. At the same time, we realize that things are not all that great in life, and taking that leap before trusting will take every ounce of faith we have.

My analysis and reflection:

I choose to write book reviews because I like to read and also recommend good reading to others. The first book I choose to write about was The Client by John Grisham. The reason I chose this story because I liked how intense the pressure was on the protagonist. The protagonist is a child, meaning that there is a moral issue involved in whether or not to make him tell where the body is. There is also the issue of how to make this child tell. To cajole or to coerce? There is also a strength of character in the character that I really liked. It’s not usually so developed in someone as young as he is. I also like stories that have to deal with legal issues and because legality is a big issue in the story, I choose to review about it. There is also that fact that the characters seem to be very realistic.

This was my 2nd review, so I still found it really difficult to break the habit of writing long summaries. I had to cut some of the plot out and cut out parts of the quote, because that was too long. Writing this review helped me gain more experience, so I would get more of an idea how a review is suppose to be written.

This is one of the articles I choose to be evaluated for my Journalism Portfolio.

Read Full Post »

For my English I Honors Class. I got an A+. Yay!

Prompt: Steinbeck includes many instances of foreshadowing throughout Of Mice and Men to prepare the reader for the ending. Identify and analyze foreshadowing in the novel and discuss its effectiveness as a literary technique.

The first edition cover of Of Mice and Men.

The first edition cover of Of Mice and Men.

Of Mice and Men

Being merciful is to be compassionate to others. In a society so conscious of our own ambitions, compassion is difficult to find. Unexpected death is also prominent in today’s world, often turning up when we are most unaware. In Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck uses the literary devices of symbolism and foreshadowing to show the central themes of compassion and death.

After the long trek of life, we reach our demise. In the beginning, it is apparent to the readers, that the dead mouse in Lennie’s pocket is not just a trivial incident. The fact that anyone would keep a mouse stone dead in their pocket is chilling enough as it is. What also brings even more unease is that Lennie had not even intended to kill the creature, thus showing what would be possible in the future, but with greater consequences. In the middle of the book, Lennie had just been petting a puppy he had acquired from Slim, but out of over enthused efforts trying to quiet the puppy, he accidentally broke its neck. This is another instance that shows Lennie does not know his own strength, and that he could accidentally kill again. He also has an attraction to soft and fuzzy things, as they are his comfort. This presents a potential problem as there are many ‘soft’ and ‘fuzzy’ creatures that, were he to forget his own strength, he could bring an end to. The two former events lead up to the death of Curley’s wife. Because Lennie likes to touch soft things, he touches Curley’s wife’s hair, who panics. Terrified of any repercussions, Lennie tries to silence Curley’s wife, but instead, accidentally breaks her neck. Death, so brief, can strike when you’re not watching.

When we hold out a hand to help, compassion, the redeeming quality of our race is portrayed. For example, in the beginning of the book, George kept Lennie at his side no matter what. By defending Lennie to other people, he shows that he does care about Lennie. Also, George knows that Lennie does not understand that people make fun of him, making him not able to protect himself. Instead, because George doesn’t want Lennie to be hurt, George stands up to people for him. In addition, when Carlson wants to shoot Candy’s dog because the creature is old and in pain, this shows compassion. Candy does not have the desire to shoot the dog because it’s been his companion for years. Eventually, out of fear that the dog was suffering, he agrees to let Carlson shoot the dog, thus putting the creature out of its misery. After Lennie kills Curley’s wife, he flees, from fear of George’s disappointment. George goes after him, and anguishes over whether or not to kill Lennie because he knows Lennie had only panicked, and the killing had been accidental. George finally decides to kill Lennie himself, learning from Candy’s regrets, and to not let Curley have a chance to revenge himself on Lennie. Also, before George killed Lennie, he made sure Lennie was unaware and happy, and mercifully pulls the trigger without warning. This shows great compassion, though it comes at a high price, for the death of a friend would always be on your hands.

A dove stands for peace, a heart for love. These are all symbols, an item that has another meaning, something not on the surface. In chapter one, there was a thicket of trees by the river. To me, this stands for the obstacles Lennie and George have been, and will, go through. The two had always been turned away as a result of Lennie’s mistakes. The thicket also hints at future obstacles, because if Lennie and George wanted their own farmland, they would have to go through many hardships. After Lennie runs away, there is a heron by a pool that eats the snake. The heron is the predator out of necessity, just as George will be. The snake is Lennie, the one destined to die, to be killed by the heron, or George. The heron is also the justice that kills innocence in order to save innocence. At the very end, Lennie talks to an imaginary rabbit. This rabbit is his remorse and grief. It shows that Lennie was truly sorry, and understood what he did was wrong. Through symbolism, Steinbeck’s message pierces our heart with clarity.

Foreshadowing is brilliantly used throughout the book. It gives us a sense of foreboding, a sense of dread at what is to happen next. The mood is even more menacing to us because while we speculate what disaster will await them, the characters are still oblivious, and thus, still happy. We anguish for George and Lennie, and the tragic fate that is woven for them. The symbolism found throughout the story helps us to visualize the figurative imagery with greater realism and sincerity. The foreshadowing and symbolism are used closely together, giving us a hint of things to come. Through foreshadowing and symbolism, we learn about compassion and death. We also learn to be more forgiving and to live just a bit more selflessly.

Read Full Post »

Journalism I

Word Count: 534

Draft #2

Book cover of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.

Book cover of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.

Twilight the Book Review

“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him- and I didn’t know how potent that part might be- that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”(p. 195) Told from a first person point of view, Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer, depicts of a 17-year-old Isabella “Bella” Swan who moves from sunny Phoenix, Arizona to rainy and dismal Forks, Washington to live with her father.

The klutzy and average looking Bella soon makes new friends and adapts to life in Forks. While she isn’t entirely discontent with the circumstances, Bella soon learns of the enigmatic nature of the Cullen family. She becomes obsessed with finding out why Edward Cullen seems to be so repulsed by her, and why, despite their beauty, the family seems to be outcasts. After various hints from Edward and undergoing seemingly bizarre circumstances, Bella finds out that the Cullen family are actually vampires.” ‘Go on,’ he said. ‘About vampires.’ I realized I was whispering. […]” (p.184).

Bella Swan is a very caring, pure-hearted girl who puts other’s well-being before her own. Though she knows Edward is a vampire, she sees more than just his handsome face, but into his heart and mind. She is also very perceptive because she cares deeply about the people she loves, thus, letting her see things about the Cullen family that normal humans can’t perceive.

Edward, on the other hand is very fond of Bella, but doesn’t really desire to be close to her. The reason for this is because he is afraid to lose control of the beast inside of him that thirsts for Bella’s blood above anyone else’s. Even so, he is the perfect hero; handsome, considerate, with some handy supernatural powers. His only flaw is that he would want to leave Bella in order to protect her, even though that is the last thing she wants.

At first, it seems as if the book is just about a stereotypical young girl’s life. Yet if you read deeper into the book, it is very well written to the point that it becomes more than trivial problems. Instead, you ache with Bella and muse over her agonies. In another instance, every inch of your body screams for Bella to run away from the evil, sadistic vampire that stalks her. You become engrossed in the book, only to step back and ask yourself, why is this plot so mesmerizing?

This book is well-suited for people who like a story that focuses on feeling. While there is a general plot to this story, most of it more or less is built on the development of the emotion of each of the characters in the book. It also tells of the epic story of star crossed lovers. It’s interesting because the reader can clearly see the protagonists’ relationship blossom, as they try to learn about each other and to help each other throughout the novel. While this is mainly a romance novel, there is also some action aspects in it, and the discovery of a new world, one that is thought to be only supernatural.

This is for my Journalism Portfolio evaluation. I will put my reflection and analysis here later too. :3

Reflection and Analysis:

My 2nd article is a book review on Twilight by Stephenie Meyers. Though this article is shorter, it also has more elements of a review to it. I made some adjustments to the second quote because it seemed too vague. There is also some awkward wording in it, but that has been changed so the review reads more smoothly.

I choose to write a book review on Twilight because this book is very popular right now. When I first got the book, I was very much into the book. And because I liked it, I decided to write a review on the book. It didn’t really turn out the way I thought it would, with many positive comments. Instead, I mention many parts of the book that aren’t as ideal. This made me realize that the book wasn’t as good as I initially thought it was.

My own opinions on this book:

I really fell in love with the book. I remember when I first got the book, I read it over 10 times straight… Totally obsessed. But lately, when I wrote the review, I realized it WASN’T that good. One thing that out  me off was how PERFECT they’re relationship was… Very unrealistic. So while this book is an okay read just to pass the time, it’s not really a awesome book. I don’t think it’ll ever be a classic, like Lord of the Rings, and such.

Read Full Post »

The band SID

The band SID

A band fairly young to the visual kei scene, as they were formed in 2003, SID is signed with Danger Crue Records. They are labeled as an indies band and love to experiment with their sounds.

I originally found this band because of their song, Monochrome Kiss. This song is the opening to the anime, Kuroshitsuji.

Monochrome Kiss by SID

I also like the next two songs by this band:

Otegami PV

and Natsukoi PV

This is the band lineup:

  • Vocal : Mao
  • Guitar : Shinji
  • Bass : Aki 
  • Drums : yuya

My favorite member is Aki! He’s hot. :3 Fufufufu

Aki is so smexy <3

Aki is so smexy ❤

I will also be posting links for the mp3 files of the songs above later. 😀

Link for the mp3 file of Monochrome Kiss: http://www.mediafire.com/?ttjyemykmzf

Otegami: http://www.mediafire.com/?dnil1wj1edh

Natsukoi: http://www.mediafire.com/?zwz2ztzymeo

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »