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Broken heart taped back together. The image is not mine, no credit goes to me!

Broken heart taped back together. The image is not mine, no credit goes to me!

DIY: A How to Guide to Putting a Heart Back Together

Unhealthy obsessions
too late. No more sound.
My eyes seal
because light has gone away.
Fucked up in my head. Blood is
gore. Brings laughter.
Sunshine warped
light snuffed. Stilted words.
Thoughts incomplete. Death and
Darkness simultaneously. Scratching
of pen. Words crossed out. A sorrowful, sighing
sound. Hearts once cracked open, starts
to mend. A little. Just a pinch but splits
apart again. Start over. Sew it up. Uneven
stitching. Threatens to shatter, duct tape is silver.
Once more attempt, shall not fail.
Last resort: super glue.

I wrote this when I was feeling a little suffocated and caged in, not a good thing for me, you know. ‘Cuse the cussing, I put it in to add impact. Hope you enjoyed it~ (:

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The Dust Stirs Not

Written by

Cindy Chu

Whispering footsteps

drop one drop two

scampering without direction.

A creak on the stairs,

lonely footfalls resound throughout the years.

Yet,

the dust stirs not

as phantom figures dash around.

With ghostly sighs,

tiptoes on the rug,

gleeful tumbling within doorways.

Still,

the dust stirs not.

The wind blows gently

as chimes tinkle

in a melancholy manner.

Overgrown weeds sway in a dance.

The curtains are swept open,

as the breeze flies through the open window.

By the sill,

A photograph.

Past echoes of laughter bubbling.

Yet still,

the dust stirs not.

Memories are appearing from that lone photograph by the sill. Ancient laughter is pursued throughout the empty house, and yet, nothing stirs.

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Breaking Boundaries

Written by

Cindy Chu

The damn tumult racing through my mind

making headway cracking apart my barriers,

crushing my sanity.

The monster inside of me roars,

raging to be unleashed.

Tear and bite apart my enemies

ground them to dust

with my fear and hate.

Anger manifested into a single hulking entity

ravenous for blood and flesh.

Ravens, crimson eyes

wheeling, circling up above.

Their cries, declarations of coming death and violence.

Forebringers of tragedy

the grand symphony in place.

The final oblivion shall play

and the blight will eat away existence

Nothingness shall replace

Everything.

I was really pissed off when I wrote this… At my stupid Math teacher. >:

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Drifts of Silence

Drifts of Silence

Little wisps of white float down gently.

One by one

I am enclosed in the silence,

the world holding its breath in this sacred moment of clarity.

Never have I been more connected to this world than I am now.

Falling to my knees, retribution granted,

purity amplified.

The muteness signifies the rebirth of my mind

and soul.

The sound of my next breath shatters the moment

splintering pieces of translucence.

A tear slides down my face,

sinking into the ground,

a covenant.

The sigh,

my declaration of love.

But still, the tips of coldness flutter down around me,

unaware of my revelations,

blanketing the world

in silence.

© Cindy Chu

Well, I’ve been thinking about this subject for a while. I finally wrote about it today, after taking my Spanish final, when my teachers was kind enough to let us listen to our mp3s. (: You rock Mr. L!

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Poem: Drops of Sin

Drops of Sin

I stare out the window,
droplets slide down the glass pane,
one linking the other finally rushing to oblivion.
The sky cries tears of forgiveness and cleansing,
the little whispers made by the onslaught of water,
all speak of caring.
Giving the Mother the only direct voice she can have.
Gently, gently,
they fall soaked into the Earth.
Born to renew the precious jewel,
to wash away our undesirable sins.
Blood will be washed away,
thunder and lightning,
our final judgment!
Forever and ever
to be born de novo,
a new era begins,
once again.

Note: de novo is Latin for anew; afresh; again; from the beginning.

Well this story was written when it was raining a year ago. You guys might be able to tell, haha. It was raining so hard and I just stared out the window and daydreamed, lost in the beauty of the pouring water. It looks like tears, I thought. The sky is so cloudy and thunder roars, sounding like desperate wailing and lamenting. And then I thought… Even though the sky cries, it’s replenishing and healing the Earth.

So this poem feels very fresh and very cleansing to me.  (:

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Phantom Candle

Phantom Candle

Into the black night,

lighted up only by God’s rage.

A sound rumbles in the windswept heavens,

and the sky cries the tears of my heart.

I walked out to the edge of the lake,

the wind cutting my skin like a knife.

I feel it not, for the pain of my soul numbs all feeling.

I loved you.

I hated you.

And then you were gone.

No one to hold my hand in this treacherous world,

no one to wipe away my tears.

You could have saved me from myself

But now you are gone and I fall,

fall,

into the deepest chasm of darkness,

of the never ending abyss.

I try to claw my way out, try to pull myself out, but to no prevail.

I cannot do this alone.

Oh if only! If only,

you were here to guide me!

Another flash in the tempestuous sky,

and I see your phantom face.

It is you?

Is it really you?

Your touch on my skin,

makes the icy water around me warm.

Your gaze is tender and accepting.

Are you to release me from this pain?

You reach out a hand and I grasp it,

feeling its firmness in my hand.

You shall be my light in the darkness,

my candle in the eve of winter,

and you will guide me through this raging storm that threatens to consume our world…

This poem is about a person who loved. Their lover dies and they end up alone in this world. They decide to suicide, to find this person that they love in the other world. It describes the lake on a stormy night, and their soul is crying out for help. They hallucinate, and see the person’s face. They reach out and take the hand. At that moment, they actually die. It’s more like, they wanted to see the person so much, to the point that they hallucinate and follow that shadow without realizing where they are going. When they make that conscious decision to accept the person’s hand, they die.

This poem is full of pain, because of the passing of a beloved. Yet at the same time, they are relieved to find the one they love, even if it’s after death. They will go to any means to find this person. Thus, this poem is also about love. Love felt so strongly that they’ll be willing to even to through death for this person.

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Kurou no Mizu

Into the night,

darkness embraces me,

welcomes me.

I smile,

no more regrets,

no more bonds to this world.

The ocean crashes against the cliffs,

the wind stirs, kissing my face.

There will be no taint on my soul or body,

no wounds.

No pain, no fear, and no more confusion.

As I walk into the water,

it embraces me, consumes me.

I let out a breath, finally able to breathe.

I let myself slip

and the waters close over me,

cleansing me of all sin.

I drift in the silence of the ocean,

the cradle of the womb of my soul.

I float in the eternal darkness,

nothing to ever hurt me again.

I sigh contently, finally at peace.

The walls of black calming my hurting heart,

and I see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing.

The blackness encloses over me and I welcome the sensation, smiling

I close my eyes and drift…

This poem actually started out initially as a paragraph, in a story form. That’s because a lot of time I envision things in my mind, and I try to capture that image with the words I want. Later, I decided to try to write it into poem form and it turned out pretty well.  In this poem I try to explain how the element water is felt to me.

Death by water is gentle in this poem, and it’s not a poem of depression. Instead, it’s a poem of joy, that this person can die like that. Yes, the subject itself is morbid, but can you see and feel the joy that this person has? This poem is also me envisioning why people would want to suicide. Maybe they really felt that was a relief, and that was happiness. I suppose, this is the side of the suicidal tendencies that people may never get to tell, so I tried to tell it for them. Was I successful, I wonder?

The title itself is Japanese. I think it would translate literally as “Black Water”. In Chinese, 黑色的水. The blackness encompasses and covers, a relief, just like death. Maybe these people die because they want to be forever safely covered, to never be alone. Who knows?

Edit: I was listening to Crawling by Linkin Park when I was writing this. It sort of inspired me. There were some references to water in that song. 😀

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